Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize