i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I would ride that face into the sunset
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
