It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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