Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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