he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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