We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
