i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
