I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
