His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
