Having a random hookup so left but love u
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Mom said you looked used
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
