He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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