Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
