I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
