Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
