I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
as a side note pls kill me
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
