u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
