I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
