somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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