I'm gonna have a badass scar
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
