my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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