I accidentally burped into my bong.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
pray to the hookup gods
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
