I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
