I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
