So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
