if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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