And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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