i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
