yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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