I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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