It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
