So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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