So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize