Do you still have your period?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Randomize