True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
