Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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