R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i love accidental penises.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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