I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
