I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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