No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I can't put those talents on a resume
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
