He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
