it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
my liver is dry heaving
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
