so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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