chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
