what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
