Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
