Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
