brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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