then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
