Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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