Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
