is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
