I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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