Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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