I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
